Melissa Wood is taking Instagram by storm with her work-out flows, vegan diet, breakfast juices, and adorable babies! This mama works hard for her health and body, and is always real when sharing about her pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I asked her about her pregnancy journeys, birth stories, and favorite tips and tricks for the Millennial Bump followers.
NS: Most young women who haven’t given birth before are terrified of birth. You also wrote about your own childbirth fear in Benjamin’s birth story. How can women best cope with this fear? How did you cope with it?
MW: The fear is real. I listened to other women’s birth stories—I asked women who have given birth before me to tell me their stories as detailed as possible. I gained perspective in that way, I was better prepared.
I also learned to breathe through the pain. I prepared for the worst pain of my life, but reminded myself that “this shall too pass”. The pain is intense but it will end. You are going to have release.
NS: Besides the pain, women are also scared of the physical repercussions of childbirth such as tearing, weight-gain, changes in our bodies. How can we best prepare our physical bodies for birth, vaginal or cesarean? I’d love it if you can talk about your own routines.
MW: During my first pregnancy, I did a lot of strength training. I almost got too muscular, I felt like my abs were so tight, honestly it felt like it interfered with labor. Second time around I got prenatal and postnatal pilates instructor certification, and I felt an amazing difference. The certification trainings were what prepared me for birth. Now I go soft and easy on my body. You need to be gentle and easy. Learn how to breathe through your abs, your pelvis. Practice gentle flows.
NS: What did you do to prepare for birth? Feel free to get specific: favorite book, favorite exercise, favorite class..
MW: I love "Birthing from within", it's an amazing book with a meditative approach to birth.
With this pregnancy I started drinking celery juice every morning. I had swelling in my hands, ankles, feet, and face with Benjamin (Melissa's first child), and even though I gained the same amount of weight this time around, there was no swelling. My doctor told me that I had no inflammation in my body, I had some around my belly after birth but that’s it.
(Disclaimer: Melissa no longer consumes celery juice as part of her morning routine. Nazli's personal thought: it's a fad with no scientific backing.)
NS: There is this stigma around getting a C-section, elective or not. Some moms who choose a c-section, or end up getting a c-section for medical reasons feel like they failed somehow. Did you experience any stigma or pressure around having a Cesarean birth? You do mention that you cried and actively did not want a C-section, what made you feel that way?
MW: This issue is very real to me. Society paints a picture of a woman that is meant to give birth and built for vaginal delivery. We are expected to have a vaginal delivery.
I was so health conscious and active during my first pregnancy that it was a running joke in my family that I would cough and give birth to Benjamin. That I would have the easiest birth. Being in the wellness space, I took it very personally when I didn’t have a natural birth. A part of me still wants it.
People say to me “You had 2 C-sections?? We expected you to deliver in a bathtub at home”. That would be the last place I’d do it, that’s not me. Benjamin’s nanny’s daughter had a C-section and one day she came home and when I asked her about it she said to me, disappointed: “Oh my God, she had a C-section..” without knowing I also had one. She was so disapproving, viewed it so negatively. It took me a while to come to terms with my C-section postpartum.
NS: What type of practices could help us cope with unexpected events related to childbirth? For example, how can your meditation practice help with this?
MW: Mediation lets me “surrender to the unknown”, and allows me to let go of all the tension I carry around my mind, my body, my shoulders.. It allows me to recognize the voice in my head, where all the negative self-talk is going on, and helps me quiet it down. I meditated before each birth, and even though I haven’t shared my second birth story yet (she has shared it since this interview), I did get hysterical and cried through my entire C-section—I can’t imagine what not meditating would have done to me in that situation.
My meditation is a mix of Transcendental and Vedic, it evolved into my own. I do have a mantra. I strive for 20 minutes but sometimes I can do 11 minutes, 15 minutes… whatever I can get in. I sit and get comfortable, breathe through my body, shoulders away from my ears, close my eyes. Then I bring my mantra, and let it go. As soon as I realize thoughts come and go, I bring back my mantra.
NS: You also mention that you wonder how things might have turned out if you had a midwife or doula in the room. Why? Did you have one in Elenor’s birth?
MS: I did wonder, because I would hear stories like “my doula prevented my C-section” but less is more for me. I knew I was going to have another C-section, I already trusted my medical team. I had an OBGYN and my nurse was a friend of mine, so I felt fine without it. But then again, society goes “You didn’t have a doula??”
NS: Personally, I think that social media accounts like yours are incredibly important for pregnant women and new moms as you share very raw, realistic content—women feel like they are not alone in this. What type of comments or feedback do you get? Do you feel like a community has formed around your pregnancy posts? Do you feel like you’re helping women in their journeys? How?
MW: I fuel that intention in every post. My name has become my brand, so I share me, my life, and experiences in the most honest way. For each post I ask myself, what is the intention of this post for someone who needs it? We see so many posts that are so generically done and repetitive, holding up a bottle with a smile—did you even use that product? Even when I work with brands and products I try to be as honest and truthful as possible. Honestly, I have the most supportive, nicest followers and a very positive community around me. I was just writing back to a negative comment on my body progress post from this morning, this woman questioned why I thought my body progress matters this much. When I get a comment like that I take a minute and remind myself, she doesn’t know me. She hasn’t followed my journey, I probably popped up on her explore page. I take some time, and I respond in a constructive way, understanding where she is coming from and why she might have made such a comment. I do want to feel good in my skin and I do value the progress—it helps me be in a better place in my mind and body.
You can find Melissa @melissawoodhealth on Instagram, and follow her workouts on www.melissawoodhealth.com